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May 23 2018

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Feck me, that HAIR… weird ass hair obviously runs in the family…

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Reposted byVostok Vostok




Oh You’re Drinking

Binch Water?

…it says BIRCH water. Can no one read cursive on this damn site?

you are the one who can’t read cursive, it seems.

 it says binch water. i checked the web site.

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Media sometimes uses a snarky butler as a sign of a weak or ineffectual employer, but man, if I had that kind of money, I’d pay extra for a butler who was quick-witted enough to just burn me to the ground at a moment’s notice.

This is the principle behind medieval jesters


when people stop walking in a crowded hallway


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I never learned how to swim and at this point I’m too embarrassed to

We have dams dude this isnt fucking atlantis

yeah but they wont hold forever…

Underestimate the power of Dutch engineering again and I’ll obliterate you


My phone at 1% battery: finally,,,,the sweet embrace of death,,,,,,my codes are clearing,,,,,,,my burdens are lifted,,,,,,,,,,,,

Me, jamming the charger in seconds before it shuts off: you’re gonna stay alive and suffer like the rest of us you lazy bitch

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This game is literally asking me if i want to be murdered.

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May 22 2018

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when your therapist says “you wanna know what I think?” and you know you’re about to be read for filth

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me, as a kid: i can’t wait til i’m an adult so i can stay up late EVERY NIGHT

me, as an adult, crawling into bed at 6:30 pm: oh thank god



You die in infinity war

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